A Dialogue.

23: “Life was good, wasn’t it?”

6: “It still is good for me. Remember I am 6 year old You and the world is still under my control.”

23: “Ah. Yes. Of course. I forgot. How does it feel though?”

6: “Awesome.”

23: “Give me the details because I really miss your world and the memories aren’t as vivid as I want them to be in order to relive them.”

6: “Isn’t it good that the memories aren’t as vivid? Because then, you won’t be able to live your present, would you?”

23: “No. I don’t care right now. Please tell me about it.”

6: “Well. I don’t know what you want to know in particular you see, I am not accustomed to people’s expectations…”

23: “You should be celebrating it.”

6: “Celebrating what?”

23: “That you don’t know and cannot know and don’t even care about people’s expectations.”

6: “Umm… but wouldn’t it be cool if I can know what people expect? Because then everybody will praise me and love me and be happy with me!”

23: “Well. I hate to be a spoiler here but the thing is, people’s happiness does not depend on your actions at all. People are… complex. They don’t even know themselves, or what they want or what to expect. But they will be happy only if they want to be. Whatever you will do to please them won’t necessarily please them.”

6: “Really? But that is stupid! If they get what they want, then why wouldn’t they be happy?”

23: “That is the thing about grown ups. They don’t even know themselves and what they want.”

6: “But I know what I want. And I would always know what I want! And I will always get it!”

23: “Umm… well. Cherish this feeling as long as you can. How is everything at home?”

6: “All is good. Mom is there. Dad is there. Brothers are there. It is good. You know yesterday dad gave me a doll house. I have set it perfectly. You should see it!”

23: “Yes. Only dollhouses can be set perfectly.”

6: “You sound sad. What is wrong?”

23: “I don’t know.”

6: “Tell me!”

23: “I am sick of people complaining and creating problems for themselves and for others too. I feel like all my efforts to please everybody have gone in vain.”

6: “I am not asking about others. I am asking about you. What have you done to please yourself?”

23: “I… what do you mean?”

6: “All this while you have been talking about people. I want to know about you. What do you like? What do you want to do?”

23: “Whatever I want to do can wait for a while. Let me first be done with what others want me to do. That will make me happy. And besides, it is not easy to pursue ones own desires in my world.”

6: “That doesn’t make sense to me.”

23: “That is why I wanted to know about you. I like to dwell here in your world. Because I remember it was easy to be happy and the world seemed simpler.”

6: “I don’t know what you are talking about. I will always do what I want to do! I mean, how is it even possible to not do what you want?”

23: “That is exactly what I…. anyway.”

6: “What?”

23: “Nothing. I think I should go.”

6: “Okay! I feel like cycling right now. Oh by the way, it is our Birthday tomorrow! I am so excited! It would be so much fun!

23: Well, yeah kind of… but birthday’s don’t…

6: Okay I gotta go! I am going to fetch my cycle and go cycling. Have fun! Bye!

And she ran off with gleaming eyes, full of vigour and lively skies. While I stayed there for a little while more, just to watch her soar. Seeing her gliding towards her desire with every step higher and higher, with such a confident and self-assured gait, made me cringe at my present state. It was good to be her. But, it won’t be as pleasant for her to be me though.

Magic?

She: Do you believe in magic?

He: There is no such thing as magic. It is a farce created by superstitious and ignorant people.

She: But what about the things that have no other explanation?

He: Everything has a logical explanation.

She: I disagree.

He: Okay, give me one such example where logic fails to justify?

She: Well, how do you explain the affect of words?

He: Words?

She: Yes. Words. How do you explain the impact of words on people. I mean they are a mere grouping of letters right? Not even concrete. You can’t touch them. You can’t put them under a microscope to understand the working behind them. But you can feel them…

He: Seriously? C’mon! That is childish!

She: (Without listening to what he said, she continued while gazing at the the stars)

These seemingly innocent words can wreak havoc. They can calm the storms and ignite winters. They can bring a whole world into existence and erase it from the face of this universe.

He: (While forgetting all the counter arguments he couldn’t help gawking at her. It was as if she was under an enchantment.)

She: Science is still trying to make a time travelling machine. But these words? Don’t they make you travel in time? They can even make you travel outside the realm of time. They take you to places you haven’t seen and give you sensations without a touch. What is the reality behind these mere words, other than magic?”

He: (silence)…

She looked at him, waiting for a response so she could go on with more. But what could he say? The spell of her words had already begun to soak him. It was not the reasoning that compelled him to believe in magic; it was magic itself that he felt gushing down his spine and flooding him with an instant warmth and an insatiable thirst.

He: Magic (He smiled at her with a yearning desire) Magic indeed…

Lambi Zabaan

What was the first thing this title invoked in your mind? An actual long tongue? Or a tongue even? No. This phrase is a product of our dear society and hence has the honor of being assigned a meaning to it by this society. And what is that? It is used to describe women who dare to say anything in their defense or justification when a finger or a remark is directed towards them. Yes, you read that right. It is exclusively used for women. When men retort even with a curse language, they would not be labelled as a “lambi zabaan wala”. In fact their abusive language and loud rants will be welcomed in all circumstances because THEY MUST BE ANGRY or disturbed. So yes, their  abusive language (even if they haven’t been wronged in the first place and are being loud and abusive only out of habit that has been nourished by our understanding society) will be tolerated. If he is a teenager, no problem, his hormones have kicked in and he is aggressive like all boys of this age. If he is a an adult, no problem, he has too much to deal with and he must be frustrated. If he is middle aged, he has too much on his plate, let him do it. If he is an old man, oh he is old, so mood swings, and he can’t get rid of his habit now. But why was the ‘habit’ never checked in the first place? Excuses. And lame ones. On the other hand, a woman’s justification (even if it is polite in nature and volume) will land her with the label Lambi Zabaan Wali and incur the wrath of her mother, aunt, grandmother, etc., no matter what the age, mood, or circumstances may be.

Ever wondered what can be the reason behind this gender specific label? Well, our cultural and religious framers of thoughts (and by religious framers I clearly mean all those schools of thought who only focus on women’s oppression in order to save a man’s piety and dignity) have been able to succeed in their endeavors to exercise their power and authority by oppressing half the population. And luckily, they are accompanied, appreciated, and promoted by 40% of that oppressed half’s population, i.e. women. Hence they carry out their mission without a hindrance. And IF, out of the remaining 10%, there arises a voice that threatens their authority in any way, then that voice is labelled as Lambi Zabaan. Because Zabaan is the second most powerful and threatening weapon against tyranny of any kind—first being the thoughts which, thankfully, are safe from public persecution. So what happens is, this ‘lambi zabaan’ label works in some cases and shuts them up. Because it is our common nature to want the acceptance of society. And a silent woman will be readily accepted. While, a lambi zabaan wali will be a threat to the prevailing status quo of our patriarchal  society. Hence, she will be censured and reprimanded on different occasions. But here is the thing, the disturbance caused by the lambi zaban should be enough of motivation to keep it going. I am certainly not advocating misuse of this zabaan. Respect and politeness should always be taken care of. But, if you find yourself being wronged or abused, say it. Speak for yourself. God has given you this tongue for a purpose. Serve that purpose. But be cautious. Do not use this tongue harshly against your parents. Ever. There is a difference in being humble yet honest, and rudely straightforward. Don’t cross the line. But never let the wrongs against you or your loved ones go unchecked, unless the wrong is benign in nature. Be in control of your words, volume and tone. Do not break people’s heart. Do not insult. Do not spread negativity. And likewise, do not let negativity go unchecked. Learn to keep the balance. Words can do wonders, if used wisely. And they can wreak havoc, if left uncontrolled. So, do wonders.

P.S. Just another feminist post? Don’t jump to the conclusions. Hold on and keep your weapons inside. Our desi people will surely understand the ‘inspiration’ behind this post because, yes, retaliation of any kind in our patriarchal families is considered unethical if uttered by a woman. And this silence sometimes ruin lives. Yes, two wrongs don’t make a right but neither does silently accepting violation as a norm. As Desmond Tutu rightly says, “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.”

Beware of the Parasites!

Don’t worry. This is not a biology class. Although, that is where I first came across this term ‘Parasites’ and I was amazed (and repulsed) by the selfishness and negativity of these organisms that suck whatever they need from other organisms. But back then, I was unaware of the fact that even humans have these parasitic skills. This article will help you in identifying these parasitic people. It will also enlist the preventive measures and remedies in case you have become a host to one of them.

Symptoms

First of all, keep this in mind that, yes these parasitic people exist. They have a tendency to be extra polite to the people they want to target but ONLY when their politeness serves their motives. Otherwise they can demean anybody, anytime, anywhere without worrying for the repercussions. Because they are so skilled in this art of theirs, they know what attitude will put people off guard, and by the time their target will realize the intensity of the insult being directed to them, it will be late. The physical trauma caused by the lethal verbal attack won’t let their targets to resist on time. Hence, they know they are safe.

Now, by the time you will plan how to treat these parasites the next time they come across you, the game will still be out of your hands. Because the ‘next time’ (if there is going to be one) will depend on their preference. That will probably happen if they still want to suck something out of you—energy, money, favors, etc. And that ‘next time’ will again be according to their liking. They will again be polite (more polite) and if they feel the need, they will apologize without hesitation, but ONLY to weaken your strength to use it again. Then, after they are done with you, don’t remain under the impression that they will leave you. Not at all. Someday you will hear something negative about yourself from another person and the source will be none other than your dear parasite. Why? Why would they vilify you in front of others after all you did for them? Because their subconscious mind knows they used you, which obviously means you had something that they didn’t and this realization is a serious blow to their false ego. And they are addicted to their false ego. So, they need a boost. And what better way is there to boost it than the feeling that they have succeeded in ruining your image when you were not there to defend yourself.

Preventive and remedial measures

This is the tricky part. If you are lucky then you will avert them. If not, like most of the people, then first, you won’t see it coming, and second, you won’t be in a position to get rid of them—in case they are your sibling, spouse, offspring, etc. But if you are from the first category (congratulations!) then, listen to your inner voice. There is a radar in all of us and its functioning is only as efficient as our attention towards it. So, that radar will alert you in some way (not if the parasite is a bit too much of an expert to even control the vibes emanating from their existence), DO NOT ignore that signal. Secondly, learn to say NO when you feel that you are being used. Thirdly, in case you have already bestowed them with a lot of favors, MAKE them realize. Tell them that you do know that YOU are doing a FAVOR to them. DO NOT let them take you for granted. And people who do not remind these parasites of their favors (if needed) are ALWAYS taken for granted. Thirdly, beware of their emotional blackmailing because they are good at it. And lastly, NEVER be intimidated by them. Because parasites do have a tendency to use condescending tones in order to intimidate you. DO NOT fall into the trap. Because, their ‘anger’ is only as good as your fear of it. Do not lose control. Tell yourself that you are in no way obliged to bear their mood swings. So, keep them in their place.

In the end, have a happy parasite-free life ahead!

P.S. If YOU are that parasitic person reading this then, I am not sorry for exposing you because you wouldn’t know anyway as your false ego and narcissistic conscious mind has blocked your way into yourself. But even if you do know that this is about you then, STOP IT.

Little birds in boxes

Everything and nothing at the same time, this is a place where finally press a full stop on your life and think with a clear mind, without the usual perceptive approach. I try to slow down sometimes and listen to the sounds of nature and nurture alike in the moments of estrangement from the material world.

Sometimes we are afraid to fly,
Every moment scared to die!
We clip our wings in our mind,
Stab our eyes and make us blind.
We zip our lips and bury the thoughts,
Cage our hearts and sit in slots.
Clinging to the dreary ground,
Heedless of the marvels around.
Sometimes we are afraid to fly,
Every moment scared to die!13183376_592975547545270_1952521831_n

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Seductive Rain

 

Oh this melody of rain
Is seducing my inner muse
The one that had left
To slumber
Beneath the blankets
Of chaotic hues.

I hear the words knocking
They are knocking at my door
I am pulling the curtains
To have a look.

Oh they have brought the muse
But I have yanked the curtains close.

The knocking has turned fierce now.
I feel like hiding behind the curtains of life.

I don’t want to let them in.
Why should I? When I can’t bleed.
Not yet.
So let the rain wet the words.
Soaked, they’ll probably leave.

As for me,
Enjoying the rain through
Closed curtains would do
For now, at least.

At last, it has dropped the idea
Of theft.
The muse has finally left.